Discovery

Until you are expected to say something worthwhile on a regular basis, it is easy to think you have a lot to say....
I have been reading the Twilight series for the last couple of weeks (I'm on my third time through lest you think me a slow ready - I read the 4 books in 4 days the first run), and its given me some interesting perspective on things in my life. Mostly the usual "you only live once, make the most of it" trite nonsense, but it has also servedto remind me how much I truly love Love. Real true love that one rarely finds. I absolutely adore the feeling of first love and I was forced to take stock of my own attitude towards that leaning. In a roundabout way i have forgotten how to be open to love of all kinds, and have been gradually shutting down my emotions for the better part of a decade. The reasons are far too personal to share at this time, but for now its enough to know and correct the situation.

I rediscovered my love for music, which has been a blessing. Pandora is definitely a godsend in that department, it seems that the Music Genome Project know exactly what I  want to hear with only a very few exceptions, and introducing me to artists I might never have found. Its allowed my brain to relax and function a little better which in turn has caused me to relate to my family members a little better, which is nice. Its hard to wish everyone in your house would leave as soon as they walk in and intrude on your brain space. Its also hard to feel like your brain is in a perpetual cramp and may never feel happy again. What this may have to do with Stephanie Meyer's imaginary friends I'm not sure, but I don't feel at all uncertain that it was definitely a part of this new leaf turning action.

We shall see where all this newfound beauty and optimism will lead, I don't expect it to be easy but I am sure it will be interesting at least. To me in any case, which is the important part, right ?

C

Staying afloat in the sea of technology.

I will never deny that I love technology. I love computers, and have since my dad brought home a Tandy 2000. I loved thumbing through the giant plate sized floppy discs while he waded through DOS  manuals and pursued what I know would have been a long and fruitful love affair with the personal computer. Unfortunately my dad passed away before personal computing really hit it's stride and became a part of daily life and functionality. I regret that he isn't here to see the techno marvel in my pocket (Droid X) that has infinitely more abilities than the trusty machine I typed out 4th grade reports and played "Sticky Bear Math" on back in the day.

This isn't really a dear departed daddy blog, but I wanted to explain the foundation for the deep and abiding love I have for computers, the internet, and phone technology. Its not quite like magic to me - it feels more like some of the "future" I looked forward to as a kid. If I can't have a flying car by 2011 dammit, then my phone better be able to do my typing for me (It does :)

With every wonderful glowing apparatus however comes a little more pressure to stay connected, updated, Tweeted, Faced, Statused, and otherwise be reporting every moment of your day; and it is a little hard to adjust to. I think the best thing for me is going to be to wean myself off the internet at least for certain portions of the day. I often find myself lost in a sea of applications and social networks all the while having lost 3 hours of work time. I do not need to look at cute kitties and laughing babies to the detriment of my art production :)

It is going to be a struggle now that I have the interweb in my pocket and can look up every fact in question and get a little buzz every time one of my contacts twitches; but I think it will be ok.

C