Howdy!
It's been a minute now hasn't it? I was going to let this attempt at a blog rot in the infinite vastness of cyberspace as a pitiful reminder of my inability to stick with a project, but lately I've been feeling the urge to purge my brain. Since I have had at least 2 Facebook friends intimate that I post blurty ranty nonsense entirely too frequently I am obliged to return to this forum to unleash the wandering and often meaningless and unimportant thoughts that clog my cogitator.
In the interest of not having this post devolve into a sad poor me sort of a thing, I am totally ok with nobody reading this. In fact if twitter had more characters i would move in there and pay rent and everything, because nobody there really gives a crap what you ramble about incoherently as long as you throw in a poop reference or vagina joke on the regular. But I truly do not have the patience to parcel my brain farts into 140 character missives, and especially not given the frequency with which these mental gas bubbles develop when I am feeling sad, or stressed. Or happy, confused or basically any other emotion. I read once that holding in farts can be hazardous to your health, I can only assume the same holds true for brain farts, and so this is going to be my safe place to air them. I might still post about glass i love or things I'm working on, but right now I need to clear the old mental pathways out and let some ideas flow.
Things have been going shockingly well for me glass wise in the last 12- 15+ months (more on that later). I have gotten into a healthier overall mental space and I like the hell out of my life and friends. I can't legitimately complain except that I'm both a youngest child and grandchild, so I am endlessly expecting more and better. Consequently when I hit those little speed bumps and potholes int he fabled road of life, I am unduly pissed and frustrated. The more I try to work out these immature and confusing thoughts, the more irritable and blurty I get on the internet. Bottom line: until Obama pays for my much needed private counseling sessions, the unfortunate souls that made it this far and continue to read my brain leavings are basically free stand ins for a reputable therapist. On the plus side, none of you are required to participate in this in any way. Oddly enough, just knowing there is a place I can go and revisit these thoughts, and the idea that maybe someone else will feel either better or a little less alone after slogging through these makes me feel better.
Its the exhibitionist in me. I would love to be open and share my honest and true feelings with the people around me, as my lovely niece does on an all too frequent basis; but I was raised to believe feelings should be hidden away and denied and suppressed until they appropriately reveal themselves as an ulcer. Or cancer or whatever. So this little corner of the internet will have to do. I'm deciding whether or not I can bear to make this my weight loss blog or if I can manage two separate burial grounds for my inappropriate thoughts. I would like to be able to post my pictures of weight loss and my opinions on size and attitudes and other gym related things, but I might need the security of an unknown blog not tied to my glass art and other things. More on that later.
Thanks and love, from me and my fb family, they are most likely endlessly grateful that this didn't show up in their newsfeeds.
C
PS we shall see if I post again before another year passes. I hope so, this was very relieving and I might be able to form coherent thoughts after today.
