I Might Be Back

Howdy!

It's been a minute now hasn't it? I was going to let this attempt at a blog rot in the infinite vastness of cyberspace as a pitiful reminder of my inability to stick with a project, but lately I've been feeling the urge to purge my brain. Since I have had at least 2 Facebook friends intimate that I post blurty ranty nonsense entirely too frequently I am obliged to return to this forum to unleash the wandering and often meaningless and unimportant thoughts that clog my cogitator.

In the interest of not having this post devolve into a sad poor me sort of a thing, I am totally ok with nobody reading this. In fact if twitter had more characters i would move in there and pay rent and everything, because nobody there really gives a crap what you ramble about incoherently as long as you throw in a poop reference or vagina joke on the regular. But I truly do not have the patience to parcel my brain farts into 140 character missives, and especially not given the frequency with which these mental gas bubbles develop when I am feeling sad, or stressed. Or happy, confused or basically any other emotion.  I read once that holding in farts can be hazardous to your health, I can only assume the same holds true for brain farts, and so this is going to be my safe place to air them. I might still post about glass i love or things I'm working on, but right now I need to clear the old mental pathways out and let some ideas flow.

Things have been going shockingly well for me glass wise in the last 12- 15+ months (more on that later). I have gotten into a healthier overall mental space and I like the hell out of my life and friends. I can't legitimately complain except that I'm both a youngest child and grandchild, so I am endlessly expecting more and better. Consequently when I hit those little speed bumps and potholes int he fabled road of life, I am unduly pissed and frustrated. The more I try to work out these immature and confusing thoughts, the more irritable and blurty I get on the internet. Bottom line: until Obama pays for my much needed private counseling sessions, the unfortunate souls that made it this far and continue to read my brain leavings are basically free stand ins for a reputable therapist. On the plus side, none of you are required to participate in this in any way. Oddly enough, just knowing there is a place I can go and revisit these thoughts, and the idea that maybe someone else will feel either better or a little less alone after slogging through these makes me feel better.

Its the exhibitionist in me. I would love to be open and share my honest and true feelings with the people around me, as my lovely niece does on an all too frequent basis; but I was raised to believe feelings should be hidden away and denied and suppressed until they appropriately reveal themselves as an ulcer. Or cancer or whatever. So this little corner of the internet will have to do.  I'm deciding whether or not I can bear to make this my weight loss blog or if I can manage two separate burial grounds for my inappropriate thoughts. I would like to be able to post my pictures of weight loss and my opinions on size and attitudes and other gym related things, but I might need the security of an unknown blog not tied to my glass art and other things. More on that later.

Thanks and love, from me and my fb family, they are most likely endlessly grateful that this didn't show up in their newsfeeds.
C

PS we shall see if I post again before another year passes. I hope so, this was very relieving and I might be able to form coherent thoughts after today.

Discovery

Until you are expected to say something worthwhile on a regular basis, it is easy to think you have a lot to say....
I have been reading the Twilight series for the last couple of weeks (I'm on my third time through lest you think me a slow ready - I read the 4 books in 4 days the first run), and its given me some interesting perspective on things in my life. Mostly the usual "you only live once, make the most of it" trite nonsense, but it has also servedto remind me how much I truly love Love. Real true love that one rarely finds. I absolutely adore the feeling of first love and I was forced to take stock of my own attitude towards that leaning. In a roundabout way i have forgotten how to be open to love of all kinds, and have been gradually shutting down my emotions for the better part of a decade. The reasons are far too personal to share at this time, but for now its enough to know and correct the situation.

I rediscovered my love for music, which has been a blessing. Pandora is definitely a godsend in that department, it seems that the Music Genome Project know exactly what I  want to hear with only a very few exceptions, and introducing me to artists I might never have found. Its allowed my brain to relax and function a little better which in turn has caused me to relate to my family members a little better, which is nice. Its hard to wish everyone in your house would leave as soon as they walk in and intrude on your brain space. Its also hard to feel like your brain is in a perpetual cramp and may never feel happy again. What this may have to do with Stephanie Meyer's imaginary friends I'm not sure, but I don't feel at all uncertain that it was definitely a part of this new leaf turning action.

We shall see where all this newfound beauty and optimism will lead, I don't expect it to be easy but I am sure it will be interesting at least. To me in any case, which is the important part, right ?

C

Staying afloat in the sea of technology.

I will never deny that I love technology. I love computers, and have since my dad brought home a Tandy 2000. I loved thumbing through the giant plate sized floppy discs while he waded through DOS  manuals and pursued what I know would have been a long and fruitful love affair with the personal computer. Unfortunately my dad passed away before personal computing really hit it's stride and became a part of daily life and functionality. I regret that he isn't here to see the techno marvel in my pocket (Droid X) that has infinitely more abilities than the trusty machine I typed out 4th grade reports and played "Sticky Bear Math" on back in the day.

This isn't really a dear departed daddy blog, but I wanted to explain the foundation for the deep and abiding love I have for computers, the internet, and phone technology. Its not quite like magic to me - it feels more like some of the "future" I looked forward to as a kid. If I can't have a flying car by 2011 dammit, then my phone better be able to do my typing for me (It does :)

With every wonderful glowing apparatus however comes a little more pressure to stay connected, updated, Tweeted, Faced, Statused, and otherwise be reporting every moment of your day; and it is a little hard to adjust to. I think the best thing for me is going to be to wean myself off the internet at least for certain portions of the day. I often find myself lost in a sea of applications and social networks all the while having lost 3 hours of work time. I do not need to look at cute kitties and laughing babies to the detriment of my art production :)

It is going to be a struggle now that I have the interweb in my pocket and can look up every fact in question and get a little buzz every time one of my contacts twitches; but I think it will be ok.

C

Etsy Treasuries

I have entered the treasury game and found it to be most addicting. I spent a lot of time searching through shops and finding great items, and let me tell you the pressure was on to make my first treasuries really cool, and unearth some really great items. I think I have done well for both of them.

The first is for my Law Of Attraction Team, made up of items from other team members and reflecting positive messages while looking forward to spring.

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d5d53cdf36c6d917cd0b0e8/attract-some-spring

My second was an homage to those who work with flame and heat to bring their lovely creations into the world.

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d5ea8b3d1ea8eef06aa7804/fire?index=0

Please check them out and give some love to the talented artists I found, many of whom I had never seen before and am delighted to have discovered.

C

Regret

It seems kind of trite to say "Get in touch with the people you have lost contact with because they may be gone from this world before you get a chance." But twice this week I have been reminded forcibly of this. Two wonderful, bright, funny, and generally awesome individuals left this world before I had a chance to reconnect.

All of those reasons I gave myself for putting off get together and returning phone calls seem like a huge pile of crap. A great big steaming monument to my selfish jerkiness. I hope they have both reached whatever afterlife or next life they are going to and in case of the latter that they are both gifted with healthy, whole  and strong bodies for their next spin on Earth. I hope that I am able to remember this the next time I feel like saying "I'll catch so and so around next time, I'm just to busy right now."

I hope that anyone that reads this reaches out to someone they have been putting off. Especially if that person made a positive impact on their life. I am so not the person to preach appropriate living practices to anyone, but I feel like it would be a disservice to try to deny how painful this feeling of missed opportunity is and not share with others.

I guess sometimes a sentiment is only trite because it has been shared and felt by so many.
Rest in Bliss Linda and Ken.
C

Congratulations Egypt!

This is exciting and scary like all change. Egypt, you have a lot of work ahead of you, choosing candidates and voting for them in an open election, and maintain the security of your nation during this power vacuum. I wish each and every one of you nothing but the best of luck during this momentous upheaval. Remain vigilant.

Apparently I have a Blog

I have succumbed to the pressure of the interweb and created a blog. I suppose I should tell my potential readers a bit about myself and perhaps outline my intent with this blog. I'm new to this, but I will do my best to remember that I created a blog and will endeavor to update it on as regular a basis as possible.

I am a glass addict/ artist. Fire excites me, and I love making things that didn't exist mere moments ago. I have included some pics of my work for your viewing pleasure.  I have strong opinions and a loud mouth, and I find myself ever more dismayed by the lack of interest in the world around us that people engage (or fail to engage) in.

I will probably use this blog to promote my glass and the glass art of others as the name implies, but be advised I may also rant incoherently about the contents of a news story or someone who has used their outrage at some innocuous comment to boost their own name recognition or earn 15 minutes of CNN fame.

That being said I will also promote entertaining bits of detritus from my world and perhaps even some zombie stories. Much like my life and as Forrest's momma said this blog is like a box of chocolates. You gotta squeeze them all to see if you like the filling. I will try not to bore myself, as I have no idea what interests you; I will make no promises regarding your entertainment.
Thanks!
C